


Memories of You

by dream_smp_brainrotx



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), and finished it at one am, and gets voices in his head, and hes rather hornee, dream still loves sap, i did Not proofread this, ranboo has the best advice, sapnap has flashbacks of good times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:35:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29483808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dream_smp_brainrotx/pseuds/dream_smp_brainrotx
Summary: Before going to the disc war to help Tommy, Sapnap starts having flashbacks about his ex and realizes he may still be in love with him.(aka sapnap is in love with the villian)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Kudos: 73





	Memories of You

**Author's Note:**

> CW: mentioned suicide attempt, slight sexual content, cursing

Sapnap didn't want to help, but he knew he had to. Dream was someone who was corrupted by power, which turned him into a monster Sapnap couldn't recognize. He deserved to be sent to prison, but Sapnap wasn't ready to see his best friend and former lover go. 

~

"Wow, the community house was really worth the work," Sapnap commented, staring in awe at the building him and his two friends had built.  
"Definitely," Dream smiled, admiring the brick wall and crafting table floor. An interesting choice, but it made the building stand out.   
The sun was starting to set, the remaining light shining on the side of the community house. The glass seemed to sparkle, and the nearby trees rustled in the chilly wind. It was a beautiful sight, a moment Sapnap wanted to stay in forever.   
"Even covered in dirt, you still look gorgeous," Dream flirted, making Sapnap's cheeks a strawberry red.  
The jet black haired male look down at his dirt covered shirt, the one that would usually be white with a flame desgin on it. He also had gunk on his black jeans, and the chain he wore had been stained. Even his classic white bandana had been become slightly dirty.   
"Dude, stop. I already know I'm hot," Sapnap giggled, nudging his elbow at his taller counterpart.   
Then, Dream turned Sapnap towards him, wrapping his left arm around the light skinned males waist. Dream lifted up his smiley faced mask, a task he rarely did, and moved Sapnap's chin up just enough so they made eye contact.  
"If you're so sure, than why don't you just sh-"   
"Get a room you guys!" George laughed, standing at the doorway to the community house. Dream and Sapnap looked at George and both turned tomato red. Dream had the advantage since he could just pull down his hand made mask to hide his burning cheeks. All Sapnap could do was cover his face with his bandana and hope for the best.  
"How long have you been there?!" Dream practically shouted in embarrassment.  
"Long enough," George hummed, "Now come inside. I finished the final touches to the second floor."   
Sapnap grabbed Dream's hand and followed George up the community house stairs. There was no arguing, no wars, and no conflict. Just a group of friends and their SMP.

~

Now, the community house had been destroyed. All those happy memories and good times that lived in that building had vanished, along with the country of L'manberg a few days later. Sapnap stared at the ruins of the community house, a netherite axe in his hand.   
"Sap, are you coming or not?" Punz asked, walking up to him.  
"I am, I'm just.."   
"Nervous?" Punz interrupted, finishing his sentence. Sapnap nodded.   
"I get it. Dream was your best friend and even your boyfriend for a while, it must be hard."   
"It's been rough to say the least."   
"You are happier now, right?" Punz turned his head towards Sapnap. The white bandana-wearing boy stared ahead, pondering Punz's question. The sounds of nature overflowed them as the others prepared for battle.   
Sapnap sighed before saying, "Yeah, I am."  
Punz gave Sapnap a pat on his shoulder. "You know you don't have to come if it'll be too much."   
"No, I need to. It's for the best."   
"If you say so. Everyone else is meeting in the Holy Lands, so you should starting heading over there," Punz explained before disappearing to who knows where.  
Sapnap stared at the axe he was holding. It was brand new, made from fresh netherite he and Quackity had mined while in the Nether.

~

"Pandas, wait up!" Dream shouted as he chased Sapnap through the nether portal. Soon, they were both teleported to the nether hub. The heat from the lava ran up the boys spines, and they could hear ghasts in the distance.  
"You ready to get some netherite, dreamie boy?" Sapnap joked, using the nickname that he had teased the emerald eyed boy with since they were children.  
"Sure am snapchat," Dream taunted, pulling out his pickaxe. They soon left the portal to go find an unexplored part of the Nether in hopes of finding some netherite.   
On their way, they ran into a group of piglins. Unfortunately, the two boys had forgotten to bring gold, so the piglins were ready to fight.   
"Ooh, protect me Dream," Sapnap cried out, putting his arms around the green hoodie-wearing boy. Dream pulled out his enchanted netherite sword and started stabbing piglins with it.   
"I know you can protect yourself," Dream chuckled while slashing a piglin through the chest.  
"No I can't, I'm too weak. I need a strong, handsome man to protect me," Sapnap stated over dramatically. The black haired man started pressing kisses onto the mask-wearing man's neck.  
Dream wheezed his typical tea kettle wheeze. Once he caught his breath, he gently pushed Sapnap off him.   
"Save it for when we get back home," Dream laughed.   
"What the fuck did I just witness?"  
The two boys turned around to see Tommy, his blonde hair catching a glow from the nearby lava pit.   
"Look what you did Sap! You probably traumatized the poor kid!" Dream shouted sarcastically at his boyfriend, which made them all laugh.   
"Y'know a woman did that to me once."   
"That's nic-"   
"I shot her after."   
Silence fell before the boys as the comprehended Tommy's (hopefully) sarcastic statement.   
"Anyway, me and Dream gotta go mine netherite!" Sapnap told Tommy as he started pulling his dirty blonde boyfriend away from the british teenager.   
"Sus," Tommy mumbled under his breath as he walked the other direction.

~

Sapnap walked towards the Holy Lands, the wood of the prime path under his feet. A cold late-January wind chilled him as he stepped off the prime path and into the Church of Prime.   
"Hey Sapnap," Eret greeted, adjusting the sunglasses they always wore.   
"Greetings," Sapnap smiled, "So who's all coming?"   
"Well some are already here, like Puffy, Ponk, Jack, and Hbomb. I don't know everyone who's coming, but I believe Sam will be," Eret explained.   
Sapnap looked over at everyone else in the church. Puffy was chatting with Hbomb, Ponk was sharpening his sword, and Jack stared out a window.  
The church was a small but admirable structure, with a water fountain in the center and the quartz it was built out of still looks brand new. Sapnap was proud of the building and all of the jokes that came from it.  
"You nervous?" Sapnap asked softly.   
"Honestly? Not really. I know Punz and Sam and those guys will do most of the fighting. Besides, all of us against Dream? Theres no way he'll win!" Eret said with determination.   
"Oh, well I'm pretty nervous."   
"How come?"   
"Well, with Dream being both my best friend and my ex, don't you think it will get a bit awkward?"  
Eret fell into silence before saying, "Oh. I didn't think of that." The king let out a small chuckle.  
"Why did you break up with Dream? I mean, I know he's like a villain and all, but you guys seemed so happy together," Eret wondered.   
"Oh, well it's kind of a long story," Sapnap began.

~

It was a cold late-November day. Sapnap stood outside of L'manberg, near the old drug camarvan. The flag of L'manberg stood high, along with the buildings.   
"You wanted to meet me here?"   
Sapnap looked up at the green-hooded man. He had a sword attached to his belt, along with some potions that seemed to be speed and strength. It had been a while since the two had talked. After the events of November 16th, they hardly saw eachother, let alone chatted.   
"Yes, I did. We need to talk about your obsession with these discs."   
Dream sighed heavily. He looked down slightly before taking off the hand painted mask, which now had slight cracks in it from battles he had fought in. He looked back up at Sapnap with those gorgeous emerald green eyes that he had fallen in love with. Not much has changed about Dream's face, except the fact his dirty blonde hair had gotten slightly longer.   
"You look good today," Dream muttered, a small blush on his cheeks.  
"Thanks, but please don't change the subject."   
Dream and Sapnap stared at eachother in silence. The only thing that could be heard were birds chirping and Fundy's mic cutting out whilst screaming.   
"Why do you want these discs so bad? Can't you just find the same ones in some sort of dungeon?" Sapnap asked frustratedly.   
"If I get these discs, Tommy will have no sense of power and this server can be ours again!" Dream argued, fixing his posture.  
"Are you out of your mind?" Sapnap shouted, "Why do you want control so badly?"   
"It's my SMP!" Dream started to laugh, "If they don't have the items that give them 'power', we can go back to how the server use to be!"   
Sapnap stayed silent. _Go back to how the server use to be_. Sapnap missed the old days badly. He really wished he could go back to when it was just him and his friends. Back when everything was peaceful and fun.  
"I would love to go back, but this is the now. This isn't just our SMP anymore. So many other people have joined, and we have to deal with it!"   
Dream chuckled lightly. He slowly walked up to Sapnap, resting his hands on his shoulders.   
"You don't have that choice. See, this server bends at my will." Sapnap stared at Dream, who was now starting to walk off.   
"I'd love for you to join me once I have full control again, but that's up to you. I'll be seeing you later, darling," Dream assured, sliding his mask back up to his face. Then, Sapnap did the unthinkable.   
"I'm breaking up with you!" The black haired male snapped, his fists clinched and tears filling his eyes.   
Dream turned around and took off his mask.   
"What d-do you mean?" Dream stuttered.  
"I'm D-DONE with your b-bullshit," Sapnap shouted, "You're out of your mind!" Dream ran up to Sapnap, tears running down his freckled face.   
"P-Please don't leave me Pandas, you're a-a-all that I have," He begged, voice cracking.  
"Maybe once you're over this disc situation, then we can get back together. Until then, goodbye Dream."   
Sapnap walked away from the camarvan, the sun casted overhead in the sky. Dream fell to his knees, sobbing. Sapnap didn't want to leave him, but he knew it was for the best.

~

"Damn," was all Eret could manage to say to Sapnap.  
"Yeah, I know," Sapnap sighed, now leaning against an armor stand. A lot more people have arrived. The only person who hadn't arrived yet was Punz, surprisingly.   
"Jesus fucking christ, can Punz hurry up?" Quackity complained.  
"Lanague!" Badboyhalo shouted at the short Mexican.  
"Fuck you Bad!" Quackity hissed at the demon, flipping him off. Sapnap began laughing at the two.  
"Oh, hey Sapnap!" Quackity smiled, walking up to him.   
"Hey big Q. How's it going?"   
"Pretty good. Just been hanging out with Bad, Skeppy, and Karl. The usual."   
Then, Punz came running into the Church of Prime. He was holding an enchanted netherite sword and some potions. He then tossed the potions to Sam. Sapnap didn't see what potions they were, because Sam stuffed them into his inventory after he caught them.  
"Sorry I'm late guys. I lost my sword and had to find it," Punz chuckled awkwardly.   
"Let's get going before Tommy and Tubbo die," Sam stated.   
And then, everyone was off. They all followed Punz into and around the Nether, looking for the coordinates of the portal Dream had built.  
"You alright Sap? You seem kind of worried," Quackity asked, looking at the taller, light skinned male.   
"Oh yeah, I'm alright," Sapnap said quietly, starting to walk slightly faster.  
"Sap, I can tell when you're lying."   
"Okay, fine. I'm nervous. Sue me!"   
Quackity smiled sympathetically at Sapnap.   
"Look man, I understand. Do you want to talk about it?"   
"Not right now. Too many people."   
Quackity nodded, then he walked off to go chat with Bad. Sapnap tried to focus on the sounds of everyone's feet walking on the netherrack, but that didn't seem to stop the thoughts from racing in his head.   
_Side_ with _Dream._  
 _We want it to be like the old days._  
 _Burn Tommy's discs when you arrive._  
 _Betray everyone for Dream._  
 _Take back the SMP._  
 _Take back the SMP._  
 _Take back the SMP._  
 _Take back the SMP._  
 _Take back the SMP._  
 _TAKE BACK THE SMP._  
 _TAKE BACK THE-_  
"Woah man, you alright? You seemed a little zoned out," Ranboo asked, now walking next to Sapnap.   
Sapnap glanced up at Ranboo, who was surprisingly tall for his age. Then again, he was half enderman, so he guessed it made sense. Ranboo was staring down at Sapnap with a smile on his face. The jewels of his crown sparkled when near lava.   
"Yeah, it's just.. These voices in my head I guess," Sapnap reassured quietly, fidgeting with his axe he was holding in his hands.   
"Oh trust me, I've been there," Ranboo chuckled.   
"Are these voices communicating what I want..?"   
"Well, it depends. Do you want to do what the voices are saying?"   
"I-I don't know. I mean, I d-don't think so," Sapnap stammered, now worried that maybe he was an awful person.   
"Look, as long as you don't act on those voices, how bad can you be?" Ranboo said with a smile.   
"Yeah... How bad can I be?" Sapnap whispered to himself.

~  
"I thought you loved me.." Dream mumbled while tears overflowed his now dull green eyes.   
"I use to love you, but then I realized how terrible you were," Sapnap stated coldly.   
It was mid-December. Tommy was going insane in exile, and the server was on the verge of another war. Dream was standing outside of the ruins of Sapnap's house that George had destroyed. Rain was pouring down on them, getting them soaked.  
"You promised you would wait for me!" Dream cried out through the cracking of his voice.  
"I didn't promise shit, Dream. I said maybe once you're over these discs. And guess what? You're still going after them!"   
"P-Please just give me another chance. I-I can fix this, I swear!"   
"You're one engagement too late."   
"What do you m-mean?"   
Sapnap stared confused at his former boyfriend. His dirty blonde hair was dripping with water due to the storm. There's no way he didn't know, right?   
"I'm engaged to Karl and Quackity."   
"W-What?" Dream then started full on crying, his eyes going red and a river of tears flowing down his cheeks.  
"I've moved on Dream. I've found people that make me happy. Now leave." Sapnap demanded.   
"You're a terrible person, Pandas," Dream shouted while walking off.   
Sapnap stood out in the rain, watching his ex disappear into the distance. His clothes had turned damp, and water dripped down his face. Sapnap looked up at the gray clouds in the sky.  
 _What have I done?_

~ 

  
"Alright everyone, we found the portal," Punz stated, snapping Sapnap out of thought.  
"Thank God, my legs are so sore!" Quackity exclaimed.  
"Let me go in first. Who knows what could be happening," Punz said while walking through the portal.  
"You ready?" Ranboo asked Sapnap.   
"I think," Sapnap replied, holding his axe with a firm grip.   
"Punz just sent me the signal, everyone get through the portal!" Sam shouted. Then, everyone jumped through the portal. Once they got transported, Sapnap glanced around the building they had entered. The discs were up for display, along with a hall of other valuables, such as the axe of peace, Friend the sheep, and Skeppy. The room was eery and large. The nether portal they stepped out of was huge, and it was right in the center of the disc display. There also seemed to be an elevator system made out of honey and slime blocks.   
Sapnap then looked at Dream, who seemed scared and hopeless. Tommy asked for Sapnap's axe, so he gave it to him. He made Dream throw out his items in a pit he had dug out, and Dream obeyed. For some reason, Sapnap felt guilty. Maybe if he hadn't broken up with Dream in November, none of this would've happened.   
_It's_ _your_ _fault_  
 _You're the reason Dream is like this._  
 _You should of fixed him._  
 _This server wouldn't be like this if you stayed with Dream._  
 _He's terrible because of you._  
 _It's your fault Tommy tried to commit suicide._  
 _Your the reason L'manberg is gone._  
"Why do I feel like this is my fault?" Sapnap asked Ranboo.   
"Is it the voices?" Ranboo whispered back to him while Tommy and Tubbo dealed with Dream. Sapnap nodded to Ranboo with a sorrow look.  
"T-There telling me it's my fault all of this happened."   
"You know that's not true, Sap."   
Sapnap looked down at his empty hands. They were trembling immensely. Tommy then made an announcement.   
"Dream blew up the community house! He even told me!"   
Sapnap's face filled with a shocked expression. He stared at Dream, who was now trapped in an obsidian box. He might have been wearing a smiley face mask, but Sapnap could tell he was the farthest thing from happy.   
"How could h-he..?" Sapnap stammered in a whisper. Ranboo rested his freakishly long arm on Sapnap's shoulder in hope that he would help him feel better.   
Then, Tommy starting stabbing Dream, taking away a canon life. Sapnap wanted to scream stop and go up there and fight Tommy, but his body was frozen. Then, Dream came back down on the elevator, and Tommy killed him again. Sapnap was slowly starting to cry. Surely they wouldn't take his last life, right?  
"D-Don't kill me!" Dream shouted at Tommy.  
"Why shouldn't I?" Tommy asked bitterly.   
"I can bring people back to life!"   
Dream then went on to explain how Schlatt gave him a book of necromancy to fight for him in the Manberg VS. Pogtopia war. Tommy decided not to kill him, but then they ended up deciding to put him in the max security prison cell.   
"Sapnap, Bad, go help Sam put Dream in prison," Tommy ordered.   
"Why me?" Sapnap whispered to himself.   
Despite not wanting to, Sapnap followed Bad and Sam up the elevator. He looked at Dream, who was locked in handcuffs and radiated hopeless energy.

~

After a long journey, they arrived to the prison. It was a large building, impossible to escape. It was eery place, somewhere Sapnap was genuinely a little scared of. It was built of dark blocks that were also super durable, such as obsidian.   
"Shoot, I forgot my key card at my place. Bad, can you come with me to get it?" Sam asked.  
"Sure thing!" Bad grinned, following Sam.  
"Watch over Dream, Sap," Sam called out as he exited the prison.  
"Shit," Sapnap thought.  
As soon as they left, Dream turned towards Sapnap.  
"Uncuff me," Dream demanded.   
"Wh-"   
"I said _uncuff me_."  
Out of fear, Sapnap grabbed a key off a desk and unruffled Dream. Then, the dirty blonde pulled up his mask and brought Sapnap into a kiss. At first, Sapnap stood their in shock, then he slowly started kissing back. He wrapped his arms around Dream's neck, and Dream's hands were cuffing the light skin's face. In that moment, Sapnap forget about everything. He forgot about the events that had happened, his fears, hell he even forgot he was engaged. All he could focus on was the feelings he got from his villainous ex.  
Slowly, Sapnap pulled away. Both of their eyes opened, interlocking with one another. Both of their cheeks were burning hot.   
"You were always so obedient," Dream chuckled, moving his hands down to Sapnap's waist.   
"Dream, stop, I'm engaged," Sapnap murmured, resting his hands over the green hoodie-wearing man's.  
"You didn't seem to care when we made out," Dream sneered. Sapnap stared down at his shoes, embarrassed.  
"I-I mean, I guess it felt good," Sapnap stuttered, his cheeks getting redder.  
"I missed it when you'd scream my name in bed," Dream boasted, now rubbing Sapnap's waist. Sapnap bit his bottom lip.   
"You're so adorable wh-  
"What the heck?" Sam and Bad said at the same time, standing at the prison doorway. Sapnap and Dream then looked at the two.   
"WHY DID YOU UNCUFF HIM!?" Sam shouted.   
"And were you guys.. Y'know, making out?" Bad asked innocently.   
Sapnap shoved Dream off of him. The freckled-face man stumbled a bit, before fixing his posture. Sapnap started to recall what happened, and then shocked himself with what happened  
"I-I MADE OUT WITH DREAM. I'M A-A CHEATER!" Sapnap's mind filled with memories of Dream, both good and bad. Sapnap ran out of the prison in tears. He doesn't deserve Karl and Quackity.   
_You aren't loyal._  
 _They'll hate you._  
 _You will be alone._  
 _Just admit it, you still love Dream._  
 _You're in love with a villian._  
 _The man who tried to kill literal children to get what he wants._  
 _You're as terrible as him._  
"N-No.. This can't.. Stop with these STUPID memories of him."  
Sapnap began to cry. He had ran far, far away from the prison, trying to stop the memories and thoughts from following him. It didn't work however. He was on the complete other side of the main land, and yet his mind was still flooded with Dream, the villian of this series.  
He stilled loved the villian, the man who ruined lives for his own gain.  
"I can't believe I still love him.." 

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! thanks for reading this rollercoaster of a oneshot :)  
> i worked on this for literal days, and im super proud of it!!  
> kudos are very appreciated <3
> 
> ~Rot♤


End file.
